Borchardt Consulting

Exhausted New Mom

Every new mother has a treasured photo like this one. Exhausted from childbirth, sometimes medicated we are given our precious new baby for “rooming in”.  We hold tightly to this little miracle that has just arrived and fall deeply asleep exhausted from our bodies hours of hard work. Unfortunately, it’s a dangerous, sometimes deadly trap.

Since the early 90’s, the world health organizations have been urging parents to practice Safe Sleep techniques with their babies.  Place baby on his or her back, alone in a safe crib.  Yet, in hospitals all over the United States, exhausted, sometimes medicated women are being left with their fragile newborns to care for them in a practice called “rooming in”.

Hospitals want to encourage breastfeeding and bonding between mom and baby.  New Moms want to see, touch and hold their precious babies allowing their brains to absorb that they really created these miracles.  It’s a connundrum.  But, hospitals must take a leadership role in modeling the behavior that we want new mothers to follow when they arrive home just a short 48 hours after birth.

Even proponents of bedsharing warn that babies should never sleep in a bed with a parent that is excessively tired or on medication.  Nor should the adult bed be filled with pillows and other soft bedding.  Hospital beds can be especially dangerous.  They were not designed for infants.  The beds are frequently set up so that mom is reclining rather than laying flat.  They put the side rails up to keep a medicated mother from falling out of bed, but the side rails are not designed for infant safety.  The baby has a hospital bassinet to sleep in but mothers rarely place the babies back into it before they doze off.

Hospital policy should require doctors, nurses, lactation consultants and all hospital healthcare staff to impress upon the new mother and any of her visitors that mom cannot be left alone with the baby in her arms unless she is fully awake and unmedicated.  The new mother cannot be expected to make safe decisions when she is in the haze of new motherhood hormones and after-birth exhaustion.

As a Safe Sleep Educator, I’ve been preaching this message for years.  It starts at the hospital!  Now, unfortunately, the worst has happened and a lawsuit has been filed against the hospital that allowed a post-C-Section mother on heavy pain medications to fall asleep with her baby only to wake up to find that the baby had died due to an accidental overlay.  I am not generally in favor of law suits but perhaps this will make hospitals sit up and take notice.  You cannot be a “Baby Friendly” hospital just by withholding free formula.  You must also look out for the health and safety  of the baby.  That includes taking steps to keep baby safe while mom gets  her well deserved recovery time.

Do you agree?

21 years ago, my 4 month old daughter died suddenly and unexpectedly.  It rocked my world and I continue to feel the aftershocks of that day. Before you roll your eyes and think, “It’s been 21 years, get over it!”  Allow me to say that I live a blessed life and I’m very happy.  I believe that is owed in large part to my daughter’s death.

I have been thinking for months that I needed to find a way to mark this huge milestone.  21 years old means that my baby is no longer my baby but an adult.  A woman.  Sigh.  I missed so much. But, as I was ruminating about all that has happened in the last 21 years, I realized that the best way for me to honor my daughter’s short life would be to thank all the people who played such a huge role in helping me to heal and smile again. 

The kindnesses bestowed upon me can never be repaid but I want those who prayed for me, cried with me, sat with me, bullied me and held me up to know that I not only remember Becky, but I remember them too.  For a long time, Wednesdays were the worst day of the week since that was the weekday that my daughter died.  It was the hardest day to go to work and pretend to be Okay.  But, I remember coming home every Wednesday night from work and finding a note on my door from a neighbor. The note read: “Dinner is ready and hot.  Give me a call so I can bring it over.”  Those dinners meant much more than a hot meal for my family.  Those dinners, at first so unexpected, showed me that someone knew, even before I did how emotionally draining those anniversary Wednesdays could be.

I remember my sister who had an infant of her own and who came over several times a day, every day.  She handed me her baby to breastfeed (just a little) before she breastfed her own baby in order to try to slowly ease my way out of breastfeeding.  After 4 months of breastfeeding, there was no easy way to stop the copious flow of milk.  My sore breasts were just an outward sign of my pain.  Yet, my sister’s generosity in sharing her darling dark haired baby girl not only eased my sore breasts, but eased my aching arms as well. 

I remember my co-worker who went to lunch with me every day and endured my overwhelming sadness.  I remember my neighbors who sat with me for hours and hours in the backyard just passing the time of day, sitting quietly or talking about mundane daily life.  I felt included and surrounded by love.

I remember a boss who made it possible for my husband and me to take our surviving daughter to Disney World.  We needed a little time for this family of four to figure out how to be a family of three again but with the unexpected expenses of a funeral there would have been no extra money for an extravagant trip. 

I remember a stranger whom I had never previously met calling me every day to check on me because she too was a mother who had a baby die.  She understood the isolation of deep grief.

I remember my large family whose distress kept the family tom-toms beating for months strategizing on how they could best help.  Never intrusive, but always loving, they looked for ways big and small to ease our never-ending sadness.  I remember coming home from work and finding my laundry sorted.  What a relief!  I could go to work every day.  I could manage a staff but I couldn’t sort my own laundry.  It just seemed like too many decisions.  So while I was away, a little elf would sneak into my house and sort my laundry.  That kindness said to me: “We believe you’re capable, but we’ll just give you a little hand.”  What a gift.

I remember my 4 year old daughter sitting next to me in her own rocking chair while I cried.  She would pat my leg and chatter to me.  She was so full of questions.  She challenged me to stay in the present instead of drifting back to the past where my other baby girl was.  She reminded me that she too needed a mommy.

I remember several years later a friend who wrote me a check for hundreds of dollars so that I could go back to school to become a bereavement facilitator and run support groups for other families who had  also experienced the death of a child.

I remember all the nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters who made time every year to commemorate Becky’s death anniversary by gathering at her tree.  They wrote messages of love on balloons that we hoped would reach from our hearts to her heart and we watched both the children and the tree grow up together.

I remember my parents’ heart-break that they could not fix this giant boo-boo for me and make the pain all go away.  I remember my father’s anger at the belief that it should have been him – the senior family member rather than his granddaughter.    I remember years later when their son (my brother) died watching them with gentle strength and abiding faith withstand the pain of losing a child with great dignity.

I remember my husband holding me in his arms at night and crying with me.  I remember him telling me that we could survive this – and we did!  

There are many other stories of kindness.  Too numerous to mention but no less touching and appreciated.

Thank you.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you.  I can never express how much each kindness lifted me up and helped me to believe that one day it would be better.  No one who has not experienced it can adequately describe how difficult a transition it is from carrying your baby in your arms to carry her in your heart.  Yet, we were surrounded by love, compassion and empathy.  It’s been a long journey.  I remember so many kindnesses. Kindnesses that didn’t stop after a few months or even a few years but continued on even until today – 21 year years later.  Very few people are so blessed.

I remember.

 

 

Breastfed infants are 80% less likely to die before age 1 year than those who never breastfed, even controlling for low birth weight.  Breastfeeding is the most effective way to insure your baby’s health and survival.   That’s a pretty impressive, yet globally, only 40% of babies under six months are exclusively breastfed.

Breastfeeding is also really good for Mom’s health.  Women who breastfeed for more than twelve months during their lifetime tend to have lower risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease, and diabetes. Breastfeeding has also been shown to reduce the risk of breast, ovarian, and endometrial cancer in a mother’s later life and may reduce the risk of osteoporosis. Perhaps best of all, breastfeeding women use the weight (fat stores) they accumulated during pregnancy to produce breast milk. Breastfeeding mom’s burn an additional 500 calories a day.  Wow!  A simple, relatively easy way to lose baby weight.

Baby benefits from breast milk too.  It is the food least likely to cause allergic reactions; it is inexpensive; it reduces the risk of SIDS; it is readily available at any hour of the day or night; babies accept the taste readily; and the antibodies in breast milk can help a baby resist infections.

Breast Milk is the Best Food for Baby

 

If both Mom and Baby benefit from breastfeeding, then what’s the problem?  While baby instinctively knows exactly what to do, for Mom breastfeeding has to be learned.  Many women need support and advice as they begin breastfeeding.  Some women experience nipple pain and fear that baby won’t get enough milk. Once past those initial challenges, more than half the mothers of infants will return to work.  While companies are supposed to provide a clean place (not the bathroom) for a working mom to pump, breastfeeding friendly companies are still relatively rare.

It is possible to work full-time and successfully breastfeed but it takes commitment and planning.  The best time to work through a breastfeeding plan is actually before the baby is born.  Find out what the company’s policy is for supporting breastfeeding moms.  Talk with other working moms and healthcare providers about the options for pumping.  There are lots of different types of breast pumps available both for rental and purchase. There is a breast pump that fits every mother’s needs.

Finally, don’t go into breastfeeding with the belief that it’s all sunshine and fun.  Breastfeeding is an evolving activity.  Mom and baby develop a rhythm over time.  Ultimately, breastfeeding is one of the most satisfying, enjoyable activities a mother will every do with her infant.

 

Tummy Time is important for baby because the amount of time baby spends on their tummy is reduced by back sleeping and car seat usage.  The average baby now misses out on several hours of natural tummy time every day.  The lack of tummy time can result in serious consequences for baby’s development.  Flat head (Plagiocephaly), Wry neck (torticollis) as well as social, emotional and developmental delays can all be linked to a lack of tummy time.  However, all these issues can be avoided by parents and caregivers by giving baby an appropriate amount of snuggle time (carried) and tummy time every day starting from birth.

The key to effective tummy time is consistency.  Every day when baby is awake, alert and supervised, the caregiver can place baby on his or her tummy for small amounts of time.  A newborn baby is recommended to be placed on his or her tummy around 5 times a day for no more than 3 minutes each time.  As baby grows and gains strength and skill, that time should increase until by three months of age, baby is spending an hour a day of awake time on their tummy.

There are several simple ways to integrate tummy time into baby’s day without adding an additional or time consuming routine.

  1. You can place baby on their tummy on your lap for burping.
  2. Place baby on your tummy while lying down so that he or she can look you directly in the eye.
  3. Get down on the floor and put your face at baby’s level.  Place interesting toys all around baby so that she reaches in different directions.

When the baby is on his or her back, it is easy to develop a flat spot on the head because the skull is so soft.  A bald spot on baby’s head is the clearest early warning sign that baby is spending too much time in a certain position.  Altering the position that baby holds their head while on their back will help prevent both flat head syndrome and wry neck; a condition where the neck muscles on one side of the neck shortens and the opposite side lengthens.  The key is to recognize that baby prefers to turn his or her head to look at the parent or the door (where the parent comes in).  Here are a few simple tips:

  1. When diapering, alternate the baby’s head direction for each diaper change.  Then, flip baby over onto their tummy for a moment.
  2. When bottle feeding baby, alternate the arm in which baby is held just like a breastfeeding mother would.
  3. Put baby to in a safe crib on her back for every sleep time, but alternate the orientation of her head between the head of the crib and the foot of the crib.

Perhaps the most important thing that parents and caregivers can do to positively affect baby’s social, emotional and developmental progress is to carry the baby in arms rather than in a car seat.  When baby is held, he or she is getting lots of sensory input, eye contact and bonding in addition to lots of muscle usage.  As a newborn, keep baby’s head, neck and back well supported; but as baby gains skills and develops, you can begin to use a less supporting position.

For more information on tummy time, go to www.pathways.org or schedule a Tummy Time workshop from Borchardt Consulting.  If there are concerns about baby’s development, consult your pediatrician.

Newborn babies have been swaddled from birth since ancient times but in the last several years swaddling has become somewhat controversial.  

Let’s look at the positive reasons for swaddling.

  1. Many babies take comfort in being swaddled. Swaddling is an effective technique to help calm infants.
  2. Swaddling helps baby to successfully back sleep by decreasing startling.
  3. It has been suggested (though no research proves it) that  swaddling will delay the back sleeping baby from rolling to tummy.
  4. Swaddling increases baby’s time sleeping.

The negative of swaddling are:

  1. Swaddling incorrectly can cause hip dislocation;
  2. Too tight swaddling can inhibit baby’s ability to expand his lungs;
  3. Risk for SIDS increases significantly for infants swaddled and placed on their tummies. Swaddled infants that are placed on their backs but roll to their tummies are also at greater risk for SIDS.
  4. Swaddling can increase baby’s body temperature causing overheating especially if baby’s head is also covered. Overheating can be avoided by adjusting the clothing underneath as well as avoiding covering baby’s head.
  5. Swaddling decreases baby’s spontaneous waking. While this sounds like a positive, it’s a serious concern with regards to SIDS.

Many cultures and hospital newborn nurseries have traditionally used swaddling as a strategy to soothe infants.  Some experts suggest that if swaddling helps babies get to sleep, parents and childcare providers won’t be so frustrated that they put baby on his or her tummy to sleep.   

Swaddle Arms In or Out

A Halo® Sleep Sack with swaddler is recommended since using a blanket to swaddle baby can result in a loose blanket in the crib.  Halo® Sleep Sacks are sleeveless wearable blankets with an attached “cape” that swaddles baby between shoulders and hips.  This negates the concern for hip dislocation by leaving babies legs free to kick.

Pediatricians generally agree that some babies can benefit from swaddling during the first 6 weeks of life.  For swaddling an infant longer than 6 weeks, talk with your pediatrician.  In Illinois, childcare providers are forbidden to swaddle infants without a doctor’s order.

Ultimately, it’s up to the parents to determine if swaddling is an effective sleep strategy for their baby.  If swaddling, do it consistently and be sure to place baby on his or her back, in a safe crib with no bumpers, pillows or quilts in the crib.

What do you think?  Do you plan to swaddle your baby?

 

iStock_000014457023XSmall

Do you  have a crib in your baby’s room or basement?  If it was manufactured prior to 2011, it probably isn’t safe. 

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) has mandated new standards for full-size and non-full-size baby cribs. The crib standards had not been updated in nearly 30 years.  Further, since 2007, the CPSC has recalled more than 11 million dangerous cribs. 

Once they become effective, the mandatory crib standards will: (1) stop the manufacture and sale of dangerous, traditional drop-side cribs; (2) make mattress supports stronger; (3) make crib hardware more durable; and (4) make safety testing more rigorous.

Effective June 2011, cribs manufactured, sold, or leased in the United States must comply with the new federal standards. Effective December, 2012, child care facilities, such as family child care homes and infant Head Start centers, and places of public accommodation, such as hotels and motels, must have compliant cribs in their facilities.

How do you know if the crib you have meets the latest safety standards?

  1. Marking on the crib shows the date of manufacture is after June 28, 2011.
  2. The crib has a Certificate of Compliance from the manufacturer.

Purchase receipts and registration cards do not prove that the crib is safe.

Before putting your baby down to sleep, check the crib.  Do not put your baby in any crib that you have not personally checked.

For more information on crib safety and safe sleep environments for baby, visit CPSC’s crib information center at: www.cpsc.gov/info/cribs/index.html.

Borchardt Consulting offers classes to childcare providers and parent groups on many of the products that parents ask about for their infants.

I was reading an article from Australia where a coroner was making an impassioned  plea for parents to stop bed sharing with their infants.  This coroner had handled a number of recent infant deaths.  In all his cases the infants had been sleeping in the same bed with the parents on the night that the baby died.  The coroner ruled these deaths accidental suffocation.  He was pleading with the parents in Australia to stop putting their infants, especially those less than 6 months old in the adult bed with the parents.  His recommendation was to place the baby in a crib near the parent’s bed so that the baby could still be easily tended but keep baby in his or her own safe sleep space.

Breastfeeding is Best for Baby

This article was quickly responded to by a group of breastfeeding advocates.  The argument made by the advocates was “It’s not THAT dangerous”.  Holy smokes!  My head almost blew off.  Really, it’s not THAT dangerous!  Is that the best argument that you can make in response to numerous babies dying?  How many babies have to die before it’s considered “that dangerous”?As a mother who successfully, exclusively breastfed 3 babies, I am strongly in favor of breastfeeding as the best food for baby.  As a working mother, I completely understand how exhausting and  challenging it can be to breastfeed.  It takes real commitment. There is no question that it’s hard work.  Rewarding, but hard work.  As a parent, I get to make all the decisions for my baby.  As a parent, my primary responsibility is to keep my baby safe.  All else is secondary.

How many babies have to die before breastfeeding advocates rate bed sharing as dangerous enough?  I have heard from many parents who have successfully raised their babies through infancy while sleeping together.  They say, “It’s not dangerous.  I did it and my children are fine.”  That makes you lucky.  Not right.  It feels like these parents believe that they are somehow better, smarter, richer….something more than those poor parents who had a baby die.  Those unfortunate parents must be overweight, drug addicted, alcoholics.  Something must be WRONG with them.

Is it possible that we are putting the comfort of the mother ahead of the health and safety of the baby?  Remember, this is not a situation where the consequences for being wrong are minor.  The consequences for being wrong is your babies life!  I cannot figure out why any parent would risk their infants life when there is an inexpensive, simple alternative – a crib in the parent’s bedroom.

There are some pediatricians and anthropologists who argue that bed sharing with your baby is essential to bonding.  Baby must be alive to bond.  They quote lots of statistics about how mothers and babies have slept together from millennium.  Mothers, you have to understand that sometimes through evolution some behaviors are no longer necessary.  We no longer sleep in caves where we have to use our bodies to provide heat for our babies and keep them safe from maurading animals.  Our beds are now soft surfaces filled with more soft items like pillows, duvets, comforters and pillow toppers and more.  Don’t let talk of “co-sleeping” confuse you into thinking that bed sharing is safe.  The research is clear that room sharing is safe.  Bed sharing is not.

There are many barriers for some mothers to surmount in order to successfully breastfeed.  Room sharing is not one of them.

SIDS has been every new parents nightmare since biblical times.  No more.  Parents now have the tools to keep  their babies safe. The goal to keep baby safe begins when you’re pregnant.

  1. Moms get early prenatal care.  See your doctor often when pregnant.
  2. Create a healthy lifestyle while pregnant.
  3. Don’t smoke while pregnant or let anyone smoke around you and your baby.
  4. Don’t drink or use drugs while pregnant.
  5. Plan to breastfeed as long as possible.

Getting the nursery ready is simplier than ever.  Remember, less is more.  Decorate the baby’s room.  Not the baby’s crib.  All you need is a safe crib, a firm mattress (read hard) and a fitted sheet.  That’s it.  Your crib should be manufactured after June 28, 2011 to ensure that it meets all the latest safety guidelines.  This is a place that you will leave your baby unattended for hours so don’t cut corners here.  Don’t borrow an old crib or buy one at the second hand store.  If you plan to use a portable play yard as your baby’s crib, there are new safety standards that will go into effect December 2012.  Place the crib in your room for the first 6 months of baby’s life.

Unsafe Crib

Unsafe Crib

Bumpers, quilts, pillows and stuffed animals should never be in baby’s crib.  They are all too soft and fluffy for an infant. and they pose a suffocation hazard for your baby.  When your baby is old enough to be put in the toddler bed, you can start allowing soft items.  Recently, the Juvinille Products Safety Commission admitted that it could not show any proof that bumpers keep a baby safe from getting arms or legs stuck in the crib slats nor could they prove that bumpers keep baby safe from head injury.  Unfortunately, the Consumer Product Safety Commission and SIDS researchers can prove that bumpers have been directly responsible for the deaths of some infants.  They may be cute, but the are not worth the risk to your baby.

After baby is born, just a few more simple behaviors for parents:

  1. But baby on his or her back alone in the crib.
  2. Use a pacifier after breastfeeding is firmly established for sleep times.
  3. Do not cover baby’s head with hats or blankets.
  4. Put baby in a wearable sleep sack or feetie jammies rather than using blankets.
  5. Swaddle baby if needed, but only up to 6 weeks…and remember to dress baby lighter since you hold in body heat with the blanket.
  6. Get baby all recommended vacinnations.
  7. Never put baby on an adult surface like a couch or adult bed to sleep.

That’s it! You have all the tools needed to keep your baby safe from both SIDS and other sleep related deaths.  Oh, don’t forget that baby needs good tummy time when awake for proper development.  Enjoy your baby!

For more tips, follow me on Facebook.

 

Vulnerable Babies Sleep in Pepi-Pod

The 2011 Christchurch New Zealand earthquake created an immediate crisis for the regions vulnerable newborn babies.  There was no safe place for babies to sleep.  This was seen as a public health crisis and the Pepi-Pod was born.  (Pepi means Baby in Maori.) The pēpi-pod package was quickly assembled as an emergency response to the increased risks to babies, posed by disrupted living and sleeping conditions in families, and as support for their fearful parents.  A pepi-pod is a general purpose storage box that converts to a baby sized bed with the addition of an attractive cover, fitting mattress and bedding. It offers babies a safe space when they sleep in, or on, an adult bed, on a couch, in a makeshift setting, or away from home. These are situations with a higher risk of accidental suffocation for babies.

Face Up, Face Clear

Volunteers from all over the country started sewing the covers needed for creating these pods.  Each volunteer used whatever fabric they had available. A complete package of pod, mattress, cover, 2 base sheets, 2 wrap around ‘settling’ sheets, and a double layer merino blanket for each needy family.  Blankets needed to be provided because heat was uncertain in post-quake Christchurch.   Each family receiving a Pepi-Pod received  a thorough safety briefing reinforcing the need to sleep babies on their backs with their faces clear of blankets, smoke-free environment and in their pepi-pod for every sleep.

While I have some concerns about placing these pods in the adult bed, this was a brilliant solution to an immediate public health crisis for infants.  Placing an infant in a pod such as these was certainly safer than placing them on a mattress with the entire family in post-earthquake New Zealand and best of all, to get one, the parents had to have one-on-one safe sleep training.

I’ve been trying to work.  I’ve been trying to sleep.  I’ve been trying to clean the house and cook for my family.  I’ve not been very successful at any of those things.  In my mind I keep hearing “It’s been 21 years.”

Tears well up in my eyes, but don’t fall.  I’ve gotten really good at redirecting my mind, but soon, I hear “It’s been 21 years” again.  21 year years ago this week, my 2nd daughter was born.  What a gift from God!  How deliriously happy we all were to welcome our second daughter into our family.  Our oldest was 3 ½ years old –just the perfect age to be a big sister.  She was so ready to be a big sister.  She had talked to my belly for months and attended class at the hospital so that she knew exactly how to help Mommy with her new baby sister.  When Mommy would sit down to breast feed, oldest sister would sit down right next to me and put her baby under her shirt too.  We sang, we read, we counted toes and we laughed.  Second girls are so easy.  As a mother, I felt comfortable knowing what to do. I felt bliss.

When my oldest was a baby, she smiled with her whole body.  She would wiggle and squirm into a full mouth grin.  Not my second girl.  She was a quiet smiler.  She was serene.  This lovely baby was so easy.  Just a quiet smile, like she knew a secret.  She had a beautiful smile.  As a mother, I felt so at ease with her because she was so comfortable, undemanding and easy going.

My 2nd Daughter

I went back to work and took my two girls to childcare.  My oldest turned four years old and our family was busy and happy.  Then, when my second daughter was 4 months and 4 days old, she went to sleep at my childcare provider’s home and never woke up.  I got the dreadful phone call at work. “Come quick!  I need you now!” said the voice of my provider.  I dropped that phone and ran.  The days and months after were filled with tears, sadness and gut wrenching pain.

I learned my most important life lesson that Fall day.  I learned that I cannot control the events in my life, but I can control the grace and dignity with which I respond to life.  I chose to make my second daughter’s short life mean something positive.  I chose to honor her in everything that I do.

Several years later, my husband and I decided to take a leap of faith and have another baby.  We welcomed our third daughter with a terrified ecstasy that can only be experienced by those who have lost deeply.  There is no more loved child in this world than the one that follows.  She is the miracle that brought laughter into our home again.  She helped her big sister to truly be a big sister again.  You may not know it, but it’s really hard to be the big sister when your little sister is in heaven.  They don’t teach that in the hospital class.

Over the last 21 years, there have been plenty of tears, but I have learned to carry my second daughter in my heart and not my arms.  I have honored her life everyday by working with newly bereaved families. I have learned to recognize the many gifts that she has sent to our family.  I have learned that it’s good to laugh. I have learned that I can spend my life being sad, or not.

We planted a tree in her honor and each June, our entire family gathers at the tree to send messages of love to her.  The tree has grown and our family has grown.  The tree, like the family has experienced rain, drought, storms, wind and snow but it has grown tall and flourished. Over the years, we have celebrated many milestones for our second daughter.  I never know what to expect.  In the beginning, her birthdate bore down on me with an unrelenting pressure that brought me to my knees with pain and sorrow.  Other years passed with a smile of remembrance, a story shared and a bit of melancholy.

This year, this 21st year has come with a bone deep weariness, a sadness that cannot be expressed.  I’m feeling like I might not have the strength to do this again.  But then, I remember what a dear friend said: “Just cause you’re in hell doesn’t mean you have to stop and shop.”  So, I’ll just pass on through.  I take a deep breath and I think of all the wonderful gifts that my second daughter has brought to me:  The joy of working with all the bereaved families and helping them to learn to laugh again; The joy that my life has become and the joy that my husband and my two surviving daughters bring to my life every day.

I am stronger than I ever thought possible.  I am a mother.  It’s been 21 years.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose.

Join 299 other followers

Safe Sleep Baby

Miss an Article?

%d bloggers like this: